The Mountaintop of Marriage

Two weekends ago, Matt and I went away for a few days.  It was a great time to be away, dream about the future, and seek God’s vision for the next year and beyond, for our marriage, family, and ministry.  While we were away, we worked through The Mountaintop of Marriage which is a vision retreat curriculum from Jimmy & Karen Evans.  I highly recommend this resource for all married couples, whether you’ve been married one year or are celebrating your 25th wedding anniversary.  It is never too late or too early to seek God’s direction for your marriage!

Matt and I have been married 18 years this May, and I know that this retreat is something we will continue to do in the years to come because we want to continue to seek God for our next steps and dream His dreams for our future!


I wanted to share with you Matt’s thoughts on the weekend from his blog (www.mattfry.com)….

Martha and I just returned from getting away for a few days of praying, preparing and planning for the future. We actually didn’t go to the mountains but we went to the beach (next time we might go to the mountains 🙂 After almost 18 years of marriage I think this is the first time we have ever done something like this and we will definitely do this again. We used a highly recommended resource,Mountaintop of Marriage by Jimmy and Karen Evans. It works best if you can get away for at least a night but I would encourage you to do something like this even if you have to stay home and be creative. In this time away we discussed…


  • VISION – Our Vision for our Family
    • GOALS – Set Goals and Plans to implement the goals. Areas that we set goals in are: spiritual growth, ministry, finances, sexual intimacy and romance, friendships, health and, home responsibilities
    • CHILDREN – We also talked about all three of our children and what are their unique gifts or callings, how can we help them develop those gifts and what is God speaking to us about each child.  (this was powerful and emotional!)
    • STRESS – We also discussed how we can reduce our family stress (as a pastor this was easy 🙂
    • CALENDAR – Planned our Calendar for the next year.  We put down vacation plans, ministry trips, date nights, children’s activities.  It also helped us evaluate what we should stop doing and what we should start doing.

I would encourage all of you to consider at least once going on a get away and going through something like this. We had a blast and it was very insightful.  Your spouse has a dream in their heart and we have the privilege of helping them see their dream become a reality. Even if your marriage feels more like a nightmare (and Martha can relate!) there is always hope and you are not alone.  Martha and I got away out or necessity because our stress level had gotten so high and I would suggest not waiting until you are desperate but planning this to help prevent a crisis and to fulfill God’s plan for your family. Men I would encourage you to take the lead in this and plan the whole trip.  You will score some huge, mega points with your wife. And you will be speaking her love language.  They want us to take the initiative.  If you would like a copy of the Mountaintop of Marriage you can get it at the C3 Source Bookstoore, 919-934-3551 or email source@c3church.com It will be an experience you will never forget!

  • I am seeing more and more that our families can get so busy doing and doing that we forget that we are doing it together. I will be getting this book and hopefully Rodney and I too can take some time to do the same thing. It is so hard sometimes to know God’s will and what we are supposed to say yes and say no too, a lot of things pull and tug at our hearts and before you know it there is no room on the calender and it’s been days since you have seen your spouse or children much less reconnect. Thank you Martha and Matt for setting an example and being real about putting your marriage and your relationship before everything else. The needs of the church can deplete the well, it’s a comfort and a confidence to know that you both take the family and your ministry at home so seriously. Will take your advice and seek out the Mountaintop of Marriage.

  • I couldn’t agree more…