Building Romance in Your Marriage

ROMANCE is a word that we tend to hear more this month than any other month of the year.  But, what is romance and shouldn’t it always be a part of our marriage?

Here are some great explanations on romance and tips on including in your marriage year-round from Jimmy & Karen Evans…

The Mystery:

“What is romance?  When I began studying on the issue, I looked up ‘romance’ in the dictionary and found that there really isn’t a good definition of the word.  Romance is defined as ‘being romantic’, and the definition of ‘romantic’ is ‘the act of romance’.  No wonder many of us are confused about what romance really is!”

The Real Meaning:

There are the three elements of romance, and the first is self-initiated pursuit.  It means that you, without any coaching or begging, do something special for your spouse.  If you’re doing something for your spouse without being nagged to do it, it means that you really care about the relationship and that he/she is on your heart. That’s what romance communicates:  “You are really on my heart.”

Ways to Say “You’re Important to Me”:

The second element of true romance is a creative communication of value.  This means that when you send flowers or a card, when you help out around the house, when you plan a special weekend for the two of you, what you’re really trying to do is to show how valuable your spouse is to you. It’s focusing on anything you can do to make your spouse feel cherished and valued.

Speaking Their Language:

The third element of romance is speaking love in the language of your spouse.  A lot of times we want to be romantic, but we don’t understand that romance is not something we do for ourselves; romance is something we do for our spouses. To be romantic means that you meet his or her needs, not your own.

A Vital Element:

It’s so important that we have romance in our marriage relationship because it keeps the relationship growing and our passion alive.  It also keeps our relationship positive and keeps it from deteriorating. Where there is a lack of romance, there is a deterioration of the relationship, always.

What It’s Not:

One of the most important things to remember about romance is that it is not something that you are asked to do – it’s something you want to do because you love someone.  It’s the attitude of, I just love you so much, how can I surprise you?  What can I do to bring delight into your life that you don’t expect? It’s that unexpected thing that just means a lot.

Keep the Joy:

Romance isn’t something that happens just once a year on Valentine’s.  It really is something that you’ve got to make happen regularly.  It’s a discipline; it’s a priority.  Don’t let anything rob you of that.  You know, the joys of life need to be protected.  There’s enough pain automatically.  The joy of life  is romance.  The joy of life is the relationship that we have with God and with our spouse and children.  That’s the prize! Remember to invest in your marriage and invest in romance and it’s going to continue to pay big dividends for you and your family!

I hope this was helpful!  We love when our husbands are romantic, but we need to remember to go the extra mile for them too!


  • Niada Cradle

    Thank you Martha for continuing to pour into our lives. I am sharing this link also.

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